How to Manage Your Anger – Part 2 by Triantafillia Memisaki

Manage Anger

Anger is nature’s way of telling you that enough is enough. It lets you know that something feels wrong; that you were either wronged or that you are actually wrong about something. It is one of the first emotions we learn to react to as children, and yet it’s one that some people never learn to harness as they get older. Anger in itself is a healthy response to certain incidents. It is not something to be ignored when felt. Left unresolved, anger can seep its way into the innermost sections of one’s life and cause problems that can destroy interpersonal relationships.

For that very reason, last time, we talked about techniques that experts (see sources below) say can help regulate this turbulent emotion in the short run. This time, TheRevista is presenting the following widely recommended methods that, if used correctly, can help you become better equipped to handle maddening situations in the long run:

Find a creative outlet where you can spend your energy

It doesn’t have to be a physical hobby, but you have to care about it, so that it helps you forget about your problems.

Exercise regularly

Staying active can help release pent-up energy and relax you enough to look at things with a clear mind. It doesn’t have to be weight training or sports. It can be anything. Cycling, yoga or even just a light walk can do the trick just fine.

 Look after yourself in as many ways as possible

Sleeping well, making time to unwind and staying away from drugs and alcohol are a great place to start!

Learn to accept the fact that we all need a shoulder to cry on at times

Talking things over with a friend isn’t just so they get a chance to help you out and give you a different opinion to consider. A study carried out by researchers at the University at Buffalo, The State University of New York has shown that the mere act of “talking about it” actually physically relaxes your entire system.

 Holding a grudge only hurts the person holding it

Grudges are heavy buggers. They weigh you down and most of the time; the person they’re aimed at either doesn’t know about it or doesn’t understand why you’re so aggressive towards them. Either way, it doesn’t help you get your way. “Forgive & forget” is a good mantra to start from.

Learn assertiveness skills

That does not mean being aggressive or controlling. Assertiveness is about being clear with others about your wants and needs, feeling comfortable to ASK for (not demand) them, while at the same time respecting the wants and needs of others. It also means being willing and able to negotiate in order to reach a mutually compelling compromise.

Give yourself a reality check at least once a day:

Think about all the things you have that you should be grateful for in life. You can’t be angry and grateful at the same time, so gratitude will win. How important is this thing that angered you in the grand scheme of things? Is the situation that got you mad worth ruining your health or mental state over? When you know what’s important you can’t get caught up in worrying about the little things. By making every tiny thing into a personal emergency and/or catastrophe you set yourself up for disappointment. There are millions of things to be angry at in today’s world, but if you let them all bother you, you will never be calm or happy a day in your life. Always remember that there are a lot worse things going on in the world at this very moment. The fact that the waitress forgot to put milk in your coffee is really not the end of the world.

If none of the above seems to work and things look like they’re getting worse, then perhaps it’s time to accept the fact that you’re in need of professional help. There’s no shame in getting the help you need. It doesn’t make you a lesser person. People who ask for help when they can’t help themselves are smarter and braver than those who refuse to do so. And since the goal is to get rid of the anger, that’s all that matters. Besides, it’s a sign of character to know your limits and seek out assistance when you reach them. It’s the very reason mankind created societies. We all know we can’t accomplish much alone.

Today there are more options than ever before. There are most likely anger management courses or counselors in your area. Group sessions aren’t for everyone though. Private sessions, psychologists and therapists who can help are also available, if you simply make an effort to seek them out. There is such a wide range of help to choose from that you would benefit by trying them out before you settle on the one you feel most comfortable working with. Each one may have their own approach and methods, so don’t be afraid to ask them questions.

Anger is inevitable. No matter how hard one tries, he or she can never fully avoid every infuriating situation. However, keeping in mind this and last month’s tips, anger can very well be tamed and harnessed to offer the peace of mind that only proper venting can offer. There is no need to be afraid of letting those colors show. Ignore your anger and it can turn against you quicker than a wild animal. Trying to understand and live with it, on the other hand, has almost limitless benefits for your emotional, mental and even physical well-being – not to mention your personal relationships. The myth has reigned long enough. It’s time we understand our anger and realize there are many easy ways to take back control, if we only just open ourselves to that possibility.

Resources:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/angermanagement/Pages/Controllingyouranger.aspx

“Control your anger.” By NHS Choices

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

“Controlling anger – before it controls you.” By the American Psychological Association

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102

“Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper.” By Mayo Clinic staff

http://www.manageyourlifenow.com/Articles/tabid/60/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/76/7-ways-on-how-to-manage-anger.aspx

“7 ways on how to manage anger.” By Manageyourlife

http://drphil.com/articles/article/221

“Health – Managing your anger.” By Dr. Phil

http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/anger/

“Managing your anger.” By Australian Psychological Society

http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/selfhelp/a/angermgmt603.htm

“Managing your anger.” By Leonard Holmes

http://gulfnews.com/business/opinion/learn-how-to-manage-your-anger-1.993856

“Learn how to manage your anger.” By Carole Spiers

http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Anger

“How to control anger.” By wikiHow user Loni_lings.

http://www.tips-tricks.net/health/tips-on-how-to-control-your-anger/

“Tips on how to control your anger.” By hasanur rahman

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anger_management_control_tips_techniques.htm

“Anger Management – Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control.” By Joanna Saisan, M.S.W., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Melinda Smith, M.A.

http://1000petals.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/does-talking-about-trauma-really-help-surprising-study-results/

“Does talking about trauma really help? – Surprising study results.” By Axinia

For Further Reading:

http://ririanproject.com/2006/09/22/10-reasons-to-keep-a-journal/

“10 Reasons to keep a journal.” By Ririan

http://www.science20.com/news/writing_down_feelings_really_does_make_us_feel_better_study_says

“Writing Down Feelings Really Does Make Us Feel Better, Study Says.” By News Staff

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/08/science/venting-anger-may-do-more-harm-than-good.html?pagewanted=all

“Venting Anger May Do More Harm Than Good.” By Jane E. Brody

http://www.prolibraries.com/amsn/?select=publication&identification=MSNJ1006

“Relazation and Visual Imagery Techniques: Do They Work?” By Jean Mc Aleer Klein and Cynthia Allen Hoffman from MedSurg Nursing Journal

Get help at:

http://angerbusters.com/

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